To Wear A Mankini? Or Not To Wear A Mankini?

Now, I am a diver, and diving involves prancing about on your tiny legs as legally close as you can get to being naked. Speedos are relaxing and comforting -although if put on incorrectly choke your balls a little to hard- they are freeing and liberating. A speedo also gives the hunkier, hairier man something to strut down the public beach. 

Anyway flauntin' my junk around with the occasional pubic hair popping out the sides is what I do best, so now it's a matter of how fashionable, trendy, and sexy I can make it. Which brings me to the question to wear a mankini or not to wear a mankini?

Who doesn't want to be that styling, seriously?? Plus this front guy's got balls like an elephant and the mankini totally compliments it... just saying.

C'mon! When you got an ass that bounces like the tapioca pudding you eat you deserve the right to be able to run down the beach without being laughed at, what you are doing is shear beauty. It is really is a shame that we now live in a world today where wearing a mankini is frowned upon.
So really my question is, should I take the risk of either turning the mankini into the greatest fashion trend known to mankind, or losing all dignity and self respect in being shunned by my piers?
Fuck it, I'm wearing a mankini.

Ween - The Mollusk Sessions

The Mollusk Sessions were done live in '97 and were filmed for a German Tv show. Like all Ween performances it is incredible. It includes two live versions of unreleased tracks including Koko and Kim Smoltz, and my favorite versions of She Wanted To Leave and Flutes Of Chi. The only thing about this album that upsets me is that they left out a great version of Dr Rock that you can find on youtube but not on here

Can you see why that upsets me? Well other than that this was put together very well and is definitely one of my favorite Ween performances.

The track listing is:

1. Mutilated Lips
2. Cold Blows The Wind
3. The Mollusk
4. Waving My Dick In The Wind
5. Kim Smoltz
6. Ocean Man
7. Koko
8. Did You See Me?
9. Flutes Of The Chi
10. She Wanted To Leave
11. Vinnie The Eel

Mediafire download is here:

http://www.mediafire.com/?6xee2dv1xw0y2fd

The Black Keys - Live at Canal+ Paris (6-22-2010)

To keep this short AMAZING.

The track listing is:

1. Breaks

2. Girls On My Mind

3. 10 A.M. Automatic

4. Tighten Up 

5. Next Girl

6. I'm Not The One

7. Howlin' For You

8. Sinister Kid

9. Everlasting Light

10. She's Long Gone

11. 10 Cent Pistol

12. Too Afraid To Love You

13. Your Touch

14. I Got Mine

Mediafire download is here:

http://www.mediafire.com/?32z45aj0ba3pxef

I am Not Mexican

I am not nor have I ever been a mexican, however I am a little jealous of their culture, in a way. Look at how much unlimited, unrestricted fun these guys are having. In Mexico it's not frowned upon to run around shirtless, wearing red spandex that hug your junk a little too tight. Plus men look bad ass and intimidating when they wear sombreros in mexico, in america the only excuse for wearing sombreros is if you're gay, you're mentally challenged, you're drunk, and or it's halloween and most of those result in emotional and sometimes even physical pain. My favorite thing about Mexico is the mariachi bands. 

 

If there were never mariachi bands there would be no mexican hat dance and if there were no mexican hat dance there would be no fun, and isn't fun what us Americans are all about? Mexicans invented fun, Mexicans and Flappers from the 1920's

Mexicans are great! And I know they will probably end up illegally over populating the United States, but who could blaim them, just think of all the fun they are having. They work at Disney World, they never take baths, they eat off the floor, they do all the fun things we dream about doing except we aren't repulsive enough to actually do it.